I cut my penus on the lid.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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