I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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