Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
