Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
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