Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
