What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
