He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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