My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
