I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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