Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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