i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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