We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
