I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
