it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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