And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
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