i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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