No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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