He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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