sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I faked an abortion last night.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
