We named our party play list daddy issues
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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