Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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