Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
