There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
