After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
