Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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