idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
