Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
