I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
