D3 body, D1 cock
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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