I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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