i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
