so that wasnt chicken after all
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
