Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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