Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
