You made me cry and you don't even care
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
