Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
