READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
