so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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