the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
