smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
