true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
