dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
What a dumb baby whore.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
