Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
