i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Randomize
