Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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