She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
