Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Also, beer. Big fan.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
