and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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