a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
