Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
You need Xanax blowdarts
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
